She may be introvert, but you can't fault her words. Laura Maw shares with us her review of 'Quiet' by Susan Cain...
‘Why are you so quiet?’, ‘Do you never speak?’ and ‘You should just talk more!’ are three things the average introvert probably hears on a weekly basis.
For all fourteen years of my education, being an introvert seemed to equivalent to being branded a freak. Among its other sparkly consequences, it involved not only being mocked by other students but awkward parents’ evenings, constant worried looks and regular doses of ‘jokey’ humiliation.
I am very late to the party on this one. But I recently read Susan Cain’s ‘Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’ and my first reaction (aside from a burning desire to post all of my teachers a copy) was one of huge relief. It acted as an essay of various arguments detailing why I was, contrary to popular opinion, not a freak for being quiet.
Cain’s book is thoroughly researched, compellingly written and so important. She charts the cultural ‘Extrovert Ideal’ and its impact on students in college, working environments and personal relationships with sensitivity and intelligence.
‘Quiet’ is an outstanding achievement, not least because of its focus on how introverts can naturally unwind in a world that idealises extroversion. Cain’s coverage of ‘sweet spots’ or a ‘restorative niche’, are ideal levels of stimulation for the quieter among us. They might involve avoiding situations in which you feel overly-stimulated, but instead choosing to have a drink with close friends or read a novel at home.
The importance of these ideal levels was painfully apparent during my Freshers’ week: it included copious amounts of busy parties, loud music and extrovert partygoers. When the term settled down, I felt infinitely happier meeting friends on campus for coffee or going to the pub in small groups. Freshers’ week is an extrovert’s heaven. Cain’s book is so important in reminding us that not all situations suit everyone – and to seek out the spaces you feel comfortable in is perfectly okay.
One of the most interesting aspects of ‘Quiet’ was the section ‘How to cultivate quiet kids in a world that can’t hear them’, which gives advice to teachers. For most introverted children, home is always a sanctuary – and it is often school that twists introversion into a negative quality. At every parents’ evening, my mother would battle my corner against the teachers who seemed to grow increasingly angry at the gap between my reluctance to verbally contribute in class discussions and my eloquent (by comparison) essays. I had a difficult time explaining that I was more than happy to write essays and discuss in small groups or one-to-one, but the thought of class presentations terrified me. ‘Quiet’ provides advice that would have made my school life significantly easier: Cain urges teachers to balance teaching methods to serve all students, encourage introverts’ natural interests and avoid thinking of introversion as something that needs to be cured.
Cain’s book is proof that the cultural and societal appreciation of introverts is long overdue. Crucial reading for every introvert, every extrovert, every parent and every teacher, ‘Quiet’ seeks to comfort and inform, paying attention to the people who are often overlooked.
